Am I a Christian?

I was having a discussion recently with a very close person in my life about what it's like to be a Christian.  This conversation was such an eye opener on how different we were in our views.  We had never had such an in depth conversation like this, and to be honest, it was somewhat frightening.  What is a Christian?  In this reading, I am going to give MY opinions on what I feel is the correct answer to that question.  For those of you that know me, but do not want to know my religious opinions, I suggest you keep reading anyway.  You might as well get to know the person inside....

For most of my childhood, I was part of the church.  I recall being on a bible quiz team with my cousin, and his mom took it quite seriously.  There were multiple nights she had us studying those white, pink, and blue cards to make sure we were going to have the right answer when we sounded our buzzer.  That was a lot of fun for me.  I really started growing my knowledge of the Bible and it made me feel good knowing it.  As I grew older, I stayed involved in church.  Not to the extent of a bible quiz team, but more to the general Sunday and Wednesday services and studies.  However, this is where my life turned down.  I found that whenever I spoke of God, Jesus, church, the Bible, or anything religion related, my "friends" would kind of chuckle.  Those chuckles turned to laughs and I quickly turned my back on doing the right thing because I wanted to fit in.  It didn't take long for me to go from a kid that played minor pranks to a jerk that was hurting others, including my family, just to maintain popularity.  I had steered myself so far away from God and was riding shotgun on Satan's buggy.  When I was alone, I would pray for forgiveness and feel like such a traitor, but it didn't keep me from doing the things I said I wouldn't the very next minute.  This all took place because I had allowed Satan to have more control of my life than I did God.  It was so much easier to do what I wanted than it was to do what God wanted.  I was a small thinker and never took the time to look at the big picture.  When I look back at those teenage years, I know it was a learning experience, but the long term affects are still being felt today.

Fast forwarding to my years as a young adult, I was able to open my eyes again...somewhat.  I spent more time praying, but it was nowhere near enough.  I got married at 19, moved away from my entire family to Texas, and started my own.  I thought this is what God wanted me to do.  Be responsible, be a family guy, raise a family, blah, blah, blah.  As my marriage fell apart within 4 years and 2 kids later, I was angry.  Why did God allow this?  Didn't I make life changing decisions?  Why am I being punished?  Well, for starters, the marriage I took part in I did for my own selfish reasons.  I wanted to prove to others I had changed; I had grown up.  Not the right reason to get married, believe me.  I also had not included God in my daily rituals.  Heck, I hadn't really included Him at all.  I prayed, but it was only when I needed something.  I prayed for healing, money, a promotion, etc.  I can't recall ever praying to say thanks.  I never went to church and I surely wasn't talking religion with anyone. I felt empty and abandoned by everything.  It was then that I knew I needed a fresh start.  I was seeing a girl from Carrollton and she was getting ready to move back for a job.  I figured this was a good opportunity to make that fresh start.  I landed a job, put in my 2 week notice with my current employer, and moved to the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex.

Within 3 months of moving here, my relationship with "Carrollton" ceased.  She was back around all the people she knew and I am certain she wasn't ready to play the role of a parent to my children.  It really sucked, and I thought to myself, "Here we go again."  So once again I started griping at God, asking what I had done to deserve this.  The funny thing though is I ran into a couple of old friends and we soon became roommates.  I was able to be myself again and not worry about the loneliness I thought was about to set in.  I could talk religion again on a late night without feeling out of place.  I started praying again, but not just for me.  Soon I met another girl, and I made sure that I took my time.  She was a bit younger than I, and I didn't want to rush anything.  We were able to talk about everything, including God, cars, and sports with no issues.  That girl is now my wife, and we have been together for nearly 10 years.  The friend I ended up as roommates with is now like a brother, his wife like a sister, and I have 2 awesome Godchildren.  Life is funny....don't you think?

So now I can reflect on all of this "bad" stuff in my life and look at it in proper perspective.  Everything happens for a reason whether you want to believe it or not.  Because I had chosen to remove God from my life is why it went downhill.  I put my pride and bad choices in the way and I had to endure many hardships because of it.  God lead me, still loved me, and showed it by introducing Robert back into my life, and Sarah into my life.  We get so caught up and angry when bad things happen to us.  That has to stop.  Just because you got a flat tire on the way to work, ended up being late, and written up because of it doesn't make life end!  Perhaps it happened to keep you from an accident that you would have been seriously injured in or possibly killed.  Sure, the outcome of what happened is surely worth being upset at, but keep it in perspective.  You are alive, you are breathing, and how you allow it to affect you is your choice.  That is how I think now.  Let go...Let God.

Now, what is a Christian to me?  Well, in order to be a Christian, you must first believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that he was born of the Virgin Mary, was a great teacher, was betrayed, crucified, died for our sins, buried, and rose to God in the heavens.  You must be saved.  You have to believe that when you have asked God to forgive you of your sins, they have been forgiven.  Lastly, you must lead your life as Christ intended.  Love everyone regardless of brother or enemy.  This is why Christianity has gotten such a bad name.  They don't love, but rather judge.  We are to love one another as Christ has loved us.  For example, I don't believe that homosexuality is okay.  It's a sin in both the New and Old Testaments of the Bible.  However I still love all and I hope and pray that they will see what will become of this lifestyle.  It is not for me to judge.  I try my best (though fall way short) of being the person God needs me to be.  I will always help my fellow man.  If you are broke down on the side of the road, there's a good chance I'll offer my services regardless of race, sex, color, or creed.  If you are hungry, I'll give you my last piece of bread.  I don't do this because I am trying to impress God.  I do it because it's the right thing to do.  The good works we do will NOT get us into Heaven.  To be a Christian is to love without judgement...pure and simple.

I could go on and on, but there is no reason.  I'm not going to change the world, but I will profess my love in hope that it does something for someone.  Always love no matter what.  Keep the faith that bigger and better things will happen someday.  When eternity rolls around, I hope to see you on the golden roads to meet that loving eternal Father of ours...together in Love.